Thursday, May 10, 2007

I Don't Own My Arm or Shoulder Anymore

Apparently, upon agreeing to be in any sort of male-female relationship (this may be the same for male-male and female-female) I lost possession of my arms and shoulders. Yes, they no longer belong to me but are at the sole disposal and convenience of Crackgerbal. It does not matter that I am uncomfortable, hot, cramped or just itching to move. Crackgerbal owns my arms and shoulders.

This, you would think, wouldn't be a real problem. You would be wrong. Many men and women about the planet--I'm sure in the billions!--are afflicted with this sort of limb-enslavement. They are not the sole owners of their limbs and must whore them out on command to an--admittedly--grateful and attractive person. This appreciation and attractiveness notwithstanding, limb-slavery is a horrible and heinous institution causing many a numb limb and sleepless night.

You may notice that this was posted in the wee hours of the morning my time (pacific standard). This is directly due to the enslavement of my limbs (small print: and a headache). Please, send help quickly! Donate now and stop this vile abuse of arms and shoulders across the globe! For only $19.95 per month you will get a personalized photo of the arm or shoulder you are helping and yearly updates on their progress. $19.95, that's only the price of a mid-range hooker in downtown LA. Don't hesitate, call today!

That is all


Crackgerbal said...

i'll show you arm enslavement you whiner! Just kidding. apparently you wree bored last night.

Eli said...

Oh shit! So does this mean you must keep these limbs exposed at all times? Hey be thankful she didn't take away your hands and wrists too! I guess this means she has control of the size of these limbs, hair and any tats. Whatever shall you do?

Lena said...

you said call now but didn’t leave a number to call?????? i have the same problem lol so your not alone =)

Demented Chihuahua said...

Bunch of critics!