Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Feeding the World and the Flying Spaghetti Monster

During the course of this previous evening, I had the extraordinary thought that Crackgerbal (formerly known as the GF...since she complained that GF could easily equal "insert dumb blond here" and demanded that I use her online handle) and I could quite possibly feed the world, cure cancer, find a cure for AIDS, stop all crime, fix the hole in the ozone, stop Bush from sending our young to die in Iraq, fix the economy, and make us personally rich if we were to have sex immediately! Of course, she immediately questioned this oh-so-obvious theory. When pressed to defend my position, I had to resort--as many before me have--to the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

As you all know, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is a construction to show the absurdity of modern religion most famously used by Richard Dawkins. I happen to be in direct communication with the FSM and he revealed to me--an epiphany!--that immediate sex would have the affore mentioned results. Due to the the fact that I have a right to my religious beliefs, this should be a defensible position.

The FSM has obviously never met Crackgerbal.

I was verbally castrated--no pun intended...honestly!--for this "idiotic" theory. I pointed out that we could falsify this theory very easily! A simple bout of "immediate sex" would serve to dispel any disbelief in the FSM and my direct line with the big slimy guy.

It was not to be.

No, despite the fact that she is pursuing a technical degree, she refused my challenge to apply the scientific method directly in our bed. It was a shame and a loss--mostly for me. Nevertheless, the FSM still maintains that immediate sex will have wondrous results...immediately!

This theory--or divine inspiration if you are so inclined--has yet to be proven. I await further confirmation...I could end up waiting a while if I keep up this argument... :-(

That is all

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